Republican Candidate attempts Bold Strategy of Not Being Complete Troglodyte

Screenshot: Genevieve Collins campaign video “100% Texan.”

DALLAS — Running for the Republican nomination in the 32nd congressional district, candidate Genevieve Collins recently released a campaign video highlighting biographical accomplishments. In the video, Collins discussed her business background and how it influences her views on the economy. According to sources, the whole thing was “surprisingly normal.”

“Imagine that,” the source continued, “a Republican candidate eschewing monosyllabic buzzwords.”

“What’s next, a serious discussion of issues?!?”

Officials at Fox News cautioned against expecting the latter outcome.

Abbott Endorses Sarah Davis’ Honesty on Abortion

Google Images “Labeled for reuse”/Texas House of Representatives website

West University Place — Following a contentious 2018 primary battle, Governor Greg Abbott today endorsed State Representative Sarah Davis for another term in 2020.

“Sarah Davis represents exactly what voters have come to expect from Texas Republicans,” said Abbott.

“Whereas other legislators use deception and sleight of hand to hide their true position on abortion, Sarah Davis is open and upfront about hers.”

“Sarah Davis’ honesty is something other Republican legislators would do well to emulate and I fully endorse her.”