AUSTIN — During consideration of the Texas house’s session rules, three term incumbent Briscoe Cain (R – Deer Park) spoke in opposition to a measure that would prevent Democrats from chairing the Republican majority’s committees.
“Mr. Speakermembers,” Cain began, “I know all about this technique.”
“Last session, I filed HB 1500. If passed, the bill would have prohibited abortion past the point where a fetal heartbeat could be detected. This was a top priority of my party and had widespread support.”
“HB 1500 was sent to the public health committee, chaired by my good friend Senfronia Thompson, Democrat of Houston. And she murdered that bill like Kermit Gosnell with a pair of forceps. Nobody was surprised.”
“You might think,” Cain continued “that this would bother me. Quite the opposite. I like it this way. It allows me to say I support the heartbeat bill without suffering the consequences of trying to pass it. It’s called having your cake and eating it too.”
“I love this technique. It’s awesome.”
Shortly thereafter, Cain sent a fundraising e-mail declaring himself a grassroots champion.
