Texas A&M declares themselves “Best 8-5 team in the country”

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College Station – Following their first victory over a team with a winning record this season, Texas A&M football celebrated a “massively successful” season.

“This was huge, ” said head coach Jimbo Fischer. “I mean, we SMOKED Texas State. Lamar?!? UTSA?!? Come on!!!”

“That’s massively successful,” Fischer continued. “Sure, we lost to almost every team we played with a winning record, but you can’t win ’em all. We’re easily the best 8-5 team in the country.”

Reports that Texas A&M planned to offer Fischer a raise and an extension could not be confirmed as of press time.

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