Austin City Council Votes to Replace Police Department with Rainbow Unicorns

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AUSTIN — Following a long and contentious meeting, the Austin City Council unanimously voted to replace the local police department with a squad of rainbow unicorns.

The measure, originally proposed by councilmember Greg Casar, abolishes the Austin police department. In its place, council directed city manager Spencer Cronk to hire 1300 unicorns. Council expects the unicorns to eliminate displacement, end homelessness, and get rid of all forms of social inequity.

Mayor Steve Adler hailed the development as “forward looking and transformative,” and “a progressive model for all cities.”

Councilmember Jimmy Flannigan amended the measure to make the unicorns rainbow “in honor of pride month.”

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