Austin Chronicle Reporter Declares Apple Pie Racist

AUSTIN — Having recently attacked motherhood, Austin Chronicle reporter Austin Sanders is at it again.

“I am sick and tired of all this talk about Apple pie,” said Sanders. “Everybody knows that apples comes from the pillaging of indigenous people. Thomas Jefferson once ate an apple.”

“Apple pie represents patriarchy and white supremacy.”

Sanders then texted councilmember Greg Casar to coordinate publicity for a city ordinance banning apple pie.

3 Replies to “Austin Chronicle Reporter Declares Apple Pie Racist”

  1. You are late to the game, When I was an Austin Firefighter 16 or so years ago, when political correctness had not yet overcome common sense: I would at times walk into the Airport fire station (no public access) and say “where are the white woman at?”. Of course, this is a line from one of the most politically incorrect moves ever made, Blazing saddles. One of the female fire fighters I guess was offended and instead of coming to me and expressing her unhappiness, she went to the supervisor, who then came to me. I of course saw the reasoning behind the request that I be more considerate of my fellow employees, so I happily agreed to not quote that move catch phrase at work again. That day after our station class time was over I Took the opportunity to apologize if I had offended anyone, I then stated that I would instead come into the station and ask ” where the apple pie at” and proceed to explain that no one could possibly be offended by apple pie, and that “you’ll know what I really mean”

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