Depressing Soap Opera Returns for 87th Season

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AUSTIN — Following a tumultuous interim where several major cast members experienced unexpected, the Texas legislature gaveled into session this past week.

New plotlines include a governor determined to mangle the economic liberty of citizens, a once in a lifetime global pandemic about which elected officials can’t do anything, and the role of house speaker is being played by some different hack.

Classic plotlines related to adultery, buffoonery, and lawlessness are expected to continue. Lawmakers are also likely to yell at the city of Austin without actually doing anything.

Texas could be heard whimpering.